by Jennifer Loraine

Dear Abby,

My husband and I have been married about two years. We haven't had any children and do not expect any as a medical problem has made me unable to conceive. About a year after I married my husband, I went into the bedroom one morning to wake him for work and discovered he was sucking his thumb in his sleep. We laughed about it over breakfast, but over the next few months I caught him sucking his thumb several times. One day, for a joke, I bought a pacifier at the grocery store, intending to give it to him that night. After we undressed and went to bed I gave him the pacifier, gift-wrapped in a small box. I told him I had found something to help him sleep. He gave me a curious look as he never had any trouble sleeping and opened his present. He laughed when he saw what I had given him, kissed me and put it on the bedside table. Imagine my surprise the next morning when I woke up and found him deep asleep with the pacifier in his mouth. I woke him up and kidded him about him liking his "Binky". He blushed, chagrined that I had caught him out in his odd predilection. He explained that he had always enjoyed sucking his thumb and had gone to great lengths to prevent me from finding out about his peculiar habit. I told him that I wasn't offended by his thumb-sucking and that he was free to continue sucking his thumb in the privacy of our bedroom. Secretly, I thought he looked cute sleeping with his thumb in his mouth.

It was only a month later while re-organizing the attic that the next incident occurred. I was going through some of his things in the attic, when I found a box filled with old toys and mementos from his childhood. I brought the box down from the attic intending to give the toys to charity. When he came home and saw the box, he asked me what I was doing with his things. I explained that I was trying to make more room in the attic and was going to give some of his old toys to charity. He became upset and took the box into the garage, saying he would find another storage spot for it himself. I followed him out to the garage, attempting to placate him by telling him I would never have given away any of his things with out his permission. I explained that I understood his attachment to his baseball cards and pennants, I was aware of the fact that they were probably collectors items. I told him that I had only intended to give away some of the toys with no value, like the old tattered teddy bear I had found in the box. He clutched the one-eyed teddy bear to his chest and said he would never give away his favorite bear from his childhood. I smiled and told him that I hadn't understood how important it was to him and that I would not give it away. He put it back in the box reluctantly and I told him I would pack the entire box up and put it back in the attic. He calmed down and I took the box back up into the attic. The next day while he was at work, I went up to the attic and got the teddy bear. I thought restoring it would be a nice peace gesture to my husband for trying to get rid of it. I took it to a doll collectors shop and asked if they could clean and restore it without damaging it. They assured me they could and told me it would be ready the following week. I told them to be very careful about cleaning it as it was a family memento. When I picked it up the next week, it had been transformed; the fabric was clean and bright, the rips in the seams had been mended, the missing eye had been replaced with a matching eye, even the faded nose had been re-dyed. I was ecstatic about the results. It looked every bit like a collectors item, instead of the old battered bear I had wanted to dispose of. I tucked it under the covers on his side of the bed for him to discover when he went to sleep. When he found it, he said, "My Teddy! What did you do to him? He's like new!" I told him I had had it restored by a professional doll restorer. He hugged and kissed me in delight. He was so happy, he danced around the room in childish glee as he prepared for bed. I told him that since it turned out so well, it would make a daring bedroom accessory and that I planned to keep it on the bed from now on. He carefully stood it on his bedside table before getting into bed. Once in bed, he became extremely amorous and we made love for hours before we finally went to sleep. The next morning I found him sleeping with his teddy bear tucked in his arms and his pacifier in his mouth. He looked like a small child sleeping with his Binky and teddy. He looked so sweet that I woke him with a kiss on his forehead.

The next episode occurred when we were visiting some friends of ours who had a baby. We were playing bridge and my husband was dummy. He went into their kitchen to get us some more snacks and drinks. The hand went quickly and I went to help him with the tray, while my friends selected CDs to put on the stereo. I walked into the kitchen and found him bent over, his head buried in the refrigerator. I snuck up behind him to see what he was looking at. When I looked over the door, I saw him with one of the baby's formula bottles in his hand with the nipple in his mouth. He was sucking furiously at the bottle trying to get a quick taste before he was called back to the game. I watched him for a moment before he realized that I was standing there. He handed the bottle to me sheepishly and I rinsed off the nipple under the faucet and put it back in the refrigerator. I didn't say anything to him at the time, I only insisted that I drive the car on the way home. On the way home, I stopped at the grocery store and ran in for a few things while he waited in the car. When we got home, I took the groceries into the kitchen while he got ready for bed. I came into the bedroom and sat beside him on the bed where he was laying under the covers. I told him that I had been patient with his thumb-sucking, his pacifier and his teddy, but I would not put up with that kind of behavior in front of our friends. He apologized for his lapse and I told him that if he wanted to drink baby formula that I would be happy to provide it for him. I reached around behind me, took a full bottle of warm formula form my rear pocket and gave it to him. He took it slowly from my hands and held it without drinking. I told him, "Come on baby, drink it! If you want formula so much you're willing to steal it from other babies, then I'll make sure you get it!" He blushed hotly, put the nipple in his mouth and started to suck. I patted his cheek and told him he could have a bottle every night before going to sleep. I made him scoot down in the bed with his feet at the end of the bed, then got in the bed and cuddled his head against my breasts while he nursed the bottle. He shivered apprehensively at first, but after a few minutes, he settled down and contentedly finished the bottle. I made this a nightly ritual and I have been doing this for about a year.

The last incident happened six weeks ago. I went into the bathroom as he was finishing his shower. I found him standing in front of the bathroom mirror modeling a towel. He had it tucked between his legs and was holding the ends together like a diaper! I laughed and told him how cute he looked, then coaxed him into letting me pin it on him. He was so enchanted by the result that he asked if he could wear it to sleep. I woke up in the early hours of the morning to find that he had wet the bed! He had saturated the towel pinned around him and then soaked the sheets. I woke him and asked him if he had ever wet a bed before and he confessed that he had wet the bed throughout his childhood until he was thirteen. I changed the bedclothes and made him go to the bathroom and pee before going back to bed. The next night (Friday night) I had a surprise waiting for him. I made him lay on the bed naked before turning it down. I told him to lay on his side as I slipped an adult incontinent diaper behind his bottom and had him roll over on it. I made him spread his legs and I diapered him while he trembled in humiliation. "You won't wet our bed again," I told him, "...from now on you're sleeping in diapers!" I made him get up and stand beside the bed while I turned it down. He looked startled when he saw that I had put a large incontinent bed pad covering his side of the bed under the covers earlier that day. I lay down on top of the bed and made him lay on the pad beside me, then slipped the nipple of his bottle in his mouth. I held him against me as usual while he nursed. The sight of him nestled sweetly against my breasts wearing only a diaper aroused my maternal instincts and I told him, "Honey, you need a Mommy to take care of you! Don't worry baby, I'll be your Wife and your Mommy! You don't have to hide your needs from me! Mommy doesn't mind if you behave childishly. You can act as infantile as you want, you're my baby now!" I pulled the diaper up over his bulging tummy and said, "You're going to be Mommy's darling baby. Aren't you, honey? " He whimpered and I continued, "You'll suck your thumb, crawl on all fours, and make messes in your diaper! Mommy will pamper and coddle you just like when you were a baby." When he finished his bottle, I got out of bed and tucked his teddy into bed alongside him and put his Binky in his mouth. When I got back into bed, he rolled over and buried his face in my breasts and sniffled. I comforted him by patting his back and diapered bottom while telling him I still loved him and would take care of him. His diaper was wet the next morning as I expected. I changed his diaper and rolled it up in the damp bed pad and threw it away. He moaned about being diapered and I told him, "Hush! Now that I know your secret, I'm going to treat you like a baby!" He wept in shame and told me he was just playing, that he didn't really mean it! I laughed and told him that it was too late. I'd discovered what he really wanted in life. I kissed his forehead and told him he looked adorable in diapers. He'd just have to adjust to his new role. Then I made him spend the rest of that day in diapers. Since then, I've diapered him every day when he gets home from work! He spends his evenings wearing nothing but a diaper, crawling around the floor and playing with Lego Blocks, while I sit on the couch knitting and watching TV. I'm sewing creepers, one-piece playsuits and sleepers for him to wear when winter comes. I give him formula in baby bottles to drink with his meals. When I want to punish him, I take away his dentures and serve him baby food for dinner. (Unless he's really naughty, then I spank him too!) He loves this treatment and is completely submissive to my desires. The sight of him crawling around the floor in diapers, utterly in my power, is exhilarating. He looks so innocent and helpless playing at my feet. I've found I like the responsibility and feelings of trust his dependence gives me. I read him stories from Winnie the Poo every night while he nurses his bedtime bottle and afterwards we make wild uninhibited love. Our love life has never been better, he's indefatigable. I'm happy and he seems happy, but I wonder, have I done the right thing?

signed,

Wondering

Dear Wondering,

As long as Mommy and baby are happy together, I wouldn't worry about it. Just make sure baby behaves himself when he's out of the house. It could be embarrassing, otherwise.

Abby

Copyright 1995 by Jennifer Loraine